Thursday, July 10, 2014

Cleaning off bugs when on the road

Unless you ride a naked cruiser without a helmet you have to deal with cleaning dead bugs off of your helmet shield and/or windscreen while you are traveling.  They don't just look bad, having to look through a dirty or bug carcass littered visor or screen will cause you to get mentally tired faster as your brain has to process the bugs out of your vision when looking for car drivers texting and wandering into your lane, or yard sharks (dogs) deciding to try and commit suicide under your front tire.

There are thousands of special products out there for you to clean your gear with,  all of it expensive and either has to be mail ordered or bought at the motorcycle shop.   And I'm here to tell you that all of it is junk.   I have tried it all and found what works the best and you can make it at home to bring with you.

What I have is a three step process with one step being performed before you leave on your trip.  You start with washing your bike with standard car wash soap that does not strip wax.  Dont bother with the Special  BMW Motoraad wash number 47, Honda unique special farkle polish, or Harley Bad ass Bike Wash now with more added bad ass ness and leather scent,  go to your local bog box store or car parts store and buy the cheapest gallon of "car wash soap" they have.  You now have enough soap to wash your bike perfectly for the nest 2 years.    After washing dry and wax the bike.  At this point I now diverge to a "special" product but only because I find it works great.   I used to use a very expensive plastic polish and protectant called Plexus.  It's $25.00 a can and is designed by scientists in a secret bunker using captured alien technology to protect your motorcycle windscreen...   Until I discovered that it actually is nothing more than "Pledge" furniture spray polish without the lemon scent.  (The lemon version seems to attract bees for a short time after applying it) I actually spray my windshield with a little bit of pledge and then buff it to a perfect shine after I made sure it was very clean.   This gives me a non-stick layer to keep the bugs from gluing themselves to the screen and helmet visor, it also makes rain bead up faster and run off faster.   I typically do the outside only with the Pledge polish and wipe up everything,  be sure to not get any overspray on your seat or controls as it is very slippery.  I try to get the "environmentally friendly" pump version and not the aerosol can. because it makes the next part easier.

Now you have the windshield treated,  you can make your travel kit.  get two small travel spray bottles from the cosmetics and hair products section of your local big box everything store.  in one of them, fill it most of the way full with tap water, and then add about 1/16th the water volume of car wash soap to it.  I cant give you exact amounts because I dont know what size bottle you bought.  If you bought a 2 ounce spray bottle, add about 12 drops of the soap for a comparison.  you do not need a LOT of soap,  in fact too much will cause problems so be stingy with it.  you can adjust this later to your own taste.   This is your cleaner, you will spray the shield down with this to get the bug guts off.
Now to make a small bottle of your high tech polish,   dump some of the pledge bottle into the second travel bottle.   If you only have the spray can, then go outside downwind from your bike and spray it into the bottle trying not to breathe the fumes and get yourself all coated in wax.

How I use these depends on what resources I have.  I try to carry with me a 3 or 4 of 2 foot squares of old cotton T-shirts cut up  ziplocks as well as some paper towel, although I have used old cotton socks as well.  I never ever scrub with the paper towel, I only use it to lay over the bugs to keep the soap and water in contact with the bugs for a bit to soften them up.   take some of your drinking water and get a single paper towel wet,  spray down your windscreen with the soapy water bottle and lay the paper towel over the bugs, wait about 3  minutes and then remove the towel and wipe clean with one of your microfiber cloths.  repeat as needed.   when you have all the bug guts cleaned off,  very lightly spray the screen with the pledge and then use the second towel to buff it clear and shiny.  Most guys that claim that Pledge does not work are using way too much,  typically it will be the old guy that thinks that more is better so they blast it heavy all over the helmet or windscreen.  Just spray on a small amount and wipe it around evenly, it's not going to be instant, you have to wipe the windscreen or helmet for at least 30-60 seconds to get it on evenly,  add more if it is not covering but only a tiny bit.  Some guys try to make the Pledge dissolve the bugs, and it will, but that is using a ton of the stuff and it will not buff out clear.  so If you need to get a very stubborn bug off you can add some pledge as a solvent but then you need to use a paper towel to remove some.  be careful as paper towel will scratch plastic.


That is all there is to it.  for less than the cost of a single can of Plexus you can have enough cleaner to last the life of your bike and your buddy's bike.  Plus you have a portable kit to take with you for on the road cleanings.  The motorcycle world is full of overpriced "special" snake oil that companies are desperately trying to get you to purchase.

NOTE: you will find a lot of guys on motorcycle forums of all types that swear by or swear at using Pledge on their bike, almost every single time it's someone that is using way too much that is having the problem, or they expect it to act like a spray car wax.   It's not going to act that way.  You have to learn how the product works and work within it's needs.   A LOT of guys in the recreational aviation world use Lemon Pledge on their windscreens that cost significantly more than even an OEM BMW windscreen could from the Beverly Hills BMW dealership.   They trust it and use it for years on their toys that cost way more than our bikes.   All I know is that from my experience on trips the dead bugs come off easier and faster and in the 20 years I have been riding it has never ruined a windscreen or helmet visor EXCEPT for a pinlock anti fog insert.  but you cant get anything on those I tried cleaning one with pure water and it damaged it.

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